If you're like...

me a total shit house house rat and fucking miserable and I pray to all the pharmacies that you aren't, then you're just creaming your dump pants over the goddamn holidays.

Christmas proved to not be as painful as in years past. But I prepared with half a bar of Xanax and a "few" glasses of champagne, before I watched my siblings partake in their yearly celebration of Christ orgy of consumption.

A certain member of my family kept going on an on about how we were going to "keep it simple" this year. I think we need to reevaluate just what the fuck "simple" means, because it turned into a material blowout with cash spraying from the rafters, all paid for on credit I'm sure. It's the American "way."

Anyway, the day after Christmas is going down in history for some intense DDs (debilitating depression). At first it wasn't so bad, and then the restlessness kicked in. I did some yoga and drank some chamomile tea was "forced" to take half a bottle of pain pills and wash them down with Vodka.

I know you pigs are like, "get to the fucking point, you goddamn sad pig bitch." So, here is the point, from now on I'm going to focus on "celebrating" the special pigs in my life, and not just obsessing about hooking them up with the perfect gift, covered in the sweat of the slaves child workers that made it.

In this spirit, I'd like you all to enjoy this video below. It's the sweetest goddamn thing I've seen all year. Pay special attention to the 0:18 mark. God bless and may the year to come billow with TRASH goodness!



Thanks Angela